Life is a Highway

Toastmasters Speech #3 - The Fight for Marriage Equality

2011-11-27T22:35:00.000-06:00

Fellow Toastmasters and guests, let me tell you about the story of Pat and Shannon. Pat and Shannon met in college, dated, fell in love and lived together for seven years. Finally, they decided to get married. Last summer they held a lavish ceremony on the coast. All of their friends and family attended. Pat’s dad, a minister, officiated. Shannon’s dad wrote and sang a special song. After the reception, the two headed off to their honeymoon. When they returned, they opened their gifts and talked about starting a family. While driving to work one day, Shannon was in a major car accident and required immediate hospitalization. However, Pat wasn’t allowed to immediately see Shannon or make any critical medical decisions. “Why?” you may ask. Well you see, even though, the couple was committed, Pat’s full name is Patricia. Pat and Shannon had a commitment ceremony, their wedding. Because of the repressive laws in this country regarding same-sex marriage, this couple has none of the legal rights (over 1,000) that protect other married couples. If Shannon becomes ill, Pat is not guaranteed the right to be with her in the hospital. These women file “single” on their tax returns and are not allowed to be on each other’s health insurance plans. If Shannon dies, her distant nieces and nephews who ostracized her for coming out have more of a claim to her belongings than Pat does.

Ladies and gentlemen, Washington DC mayor Adrian Frenty declared, "Marriage inequality is a civil rights, political, social, moral and religious issue." He covered all the bases, except one: It's a constitutional issue as well.

Now, I know that the argument for same-sex marriage is a controversial one in this country, making friends and enemies at the same time. It remains controversial because it is often conflated with closely held religious values and beliefs. Regardless of individuals’ personal beliefs, however, the values and laws upon which the nation was founded demand that the right of marriage be extended to all consenting adults, irrespective of sexual orientation. Tonight, I’d like to get to the point of why same-sex marries won’t tear this country apart, but rather should (and does) lead to a more just and fair society.

Other Countries

Many other developed countries have adopted legislation that makes provisions for gay couples to enjoy the same rights and privileges of married life that are afforded to heterosexual couples and have protected the right to gay marriage, the policies and practices promoted by the federal government of the United States remains an “exception on the world scene”. It would appear then, in terms of coming to an understanding of the innocuous nature of gay marriage in the United States, other countries have realized what the United States has yet to understand.

Constitutional and Legal Standing

Thomas Jefferson set the stage in the Declaration of Independence: "[T]o secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men." The primary purpose of government is to safeguard individual rights and prevent some persons from harming others. Heterosexuals should not be treated preferentially when the state carries out that role. And no one is harmed by the union of two consenting gay people.

For most of Western history, marriage was a matter of private contract between the betrothed parties and perhaps their families. Following that tradition, marriage today should be a private arrangement, requiring minimal or no state intervention. Some religious or secular institutions would recognize gay marriages; others would not; still others would call them domestic partnerships or assign another label. Join whichever group you wish. The rights and responsibilities of partners would be governed by personally tailored contracts — consensual bargains like those that control most other interactions in a free society.

Regrettably, government has interceded in these contracts, enacting more than 1,000 federal laws dealing mostly with taxes or transfer payments, and an untold number of state laws dealing with such questions as child custody, inheritance and property rights. Whenever government imposes obligations or dispenses benefits, it may not "deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." That provision is explicit in the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, applicable to the states, and implicit in the Fifth Amendment, applicable to the federal government.

The Definition of Marriage is Dynamic / Society Will Survive

Marriage in the US is a secular and dynamic institution that has gone under several major transformations. Interracial marriage was illegal in many US states until a 1967 Supreme Court decision. Coverture, where a woman's legal rights and economic identity were assumed by her husband upon marriage, was commonplace in 19th century America. No-fault divorce has changed the institution of marriage since its introduction in California in 1970.

The Executive Board of the American Anthropological Association found that more than a century of research has shown "no support whatsoever for the view that either civilization or viable social orders depend upon marriage as an exclusively heterosexual institution. Rather, anthropological research supports the conclusion that a vast array of family types, including families built upon same-sex partnerships, can contribute to stable and humane societies."

Religious Institutions

Ladies and gentlemen, government doesn’t determine the quality or the validity of peoples’ relationships. If it did, it would deny three-quarters of the marriage licenses issued. I know there are many people in the religious community who feel that gay marriage is being forced on them; in fact this is not true and this has never been done. Any church has the right to deny anyone the sacrament of marriage if they determine the people being married are unfit or their relationship doesn’t meet their standards. In California’s Perry v. Schwarzenegger, Harvard cultural and marriage historian Nancy Cott testified that civil law has always been supreme in defining and regulating marriage. Religious leaders are accustomed to performing marriages only because the state has given them that authority. This is why they feel entitled to such a strong opinion on this issue. City Hall does not have that right and that law should not change. Religious institutions can continue to practice discrimination with respect to the sacrament of marriage. As an atheist, there’s no way I could ever get married if it was up to the church to determine if my relationship was regulation worthy. Ultimately though, it comes down to the government. Government doesn’t and shouldn’t and should not do it for gay and lesbian couples who want to enter into a contract that would protect each other in injury and death.

The Sanctity of Marriage

I know many people are concerned about the destruction of the sanctity of marriage, as well, and they view this as a threat. But let me as you something, ladies and gentlemen, what are we really protecting when you look at the divorce rate in our society? Turn on the television. We have a wedding channel on cable TV devoted to the behavior of people on their way to the altar. They spend billions of dollars, behave in the most appalling way, all in an effort to be princess for a day. You don’t have cable television? Put on network TV. We’re giving away husbands and wives on a game show. You can watch “The Bachelor,” where 30 desperate women will compete to marry a 40-year-old man who has never been able to maintain a decent relationship in his life. We have “The Bachelorette,” in reverse. And my favorite show, which thank God only ran one season because it was truly distasteful, was “The Littlest Groom,” where 30 desperate women competed to marry a dwarf. That’s what we’ve done to marriage in America, where young women are socialized from the time they’re five years old to think of being nothing but a bride. They plan every day what they’ll wear, how they’ll look, the invitations, the whole bit. They don’t spend five minutes thinking about what it means to be a wife. People stand up there before their deity and swear to love, honor, and obey; they don’t mean a word of it. (Think Kim Kardashian.) So if there’s anything wrong, any threat to the sanctity of marriage in America, it comes from those of us who have the privilege and the right, and we have abused it for decades.

Civil Rights Cause for Generation XY

Of course, government discriminates among its citizens all the time. By the 1920s, 38 states prohibited whites from marrying blacks and certain Asians. Until 1954, all states were allowed to operate segregated schools. Thankfully, the Supreme Court invalidated both interracial marital restrictions and school segregation. The court applied the plain text of the Equal Protection Clause despite contrary practices by the states for many years even after the 14th Amendment was ratified in 1868. Most of the arguments against gay and lesbian marriage are flawed and reactionary. They are reminiscent of the arguments against interracial marriages fifty years ago: that it will harm children, send the wrong moral message and devalue the institution of marriage.

Most Americans, perhaps with the exception of a few in white robes, will agree that the ban on interracial marriages was nothing more than prejudice at work. Soon, we will look back at the arguments against same-sex marriages and see, like the ban on interracial marriages, that they are backed by nothing more than bigotry, prejudice and fear. I believe that same-sex marriage is the civil right struggle for my generation and those to come.

Conclusion

Marriage is an institution and contract that builds society, and by allowing gay adults to marry, the government would be contributing to social stabilization, a characteristic which is desperately needed as the divorce rate among heterosexual couples escalates and the country is confronted with numerous social problems. Empirical and sociological research shows that other countries that have permitted gay marriage have not suffered in any way as the result of doing so; on the contrary, many indicators of social stability improved. America has nothing to fear from people who are committed to each other who want to share their lives and protect one another in the event of sickness, illness, or death. We have nothing to fear from love and commitment. Now is the time for marriage equality in the US. Same sex couples deserve to have the same rights as heterosexual couples. It’s not a religious issue, it’s a fairness issue.

Guess who?

2011-11-27T22:32:00.000-06:00

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I'll catch up soon. Things have settled down at work and I've been extremely fortunate to be reappointed to my current position. I'd be lost without the support of my friends (Rhonda, Megan, Jen, Eva, Cheryl, Eric K., Venessa and countless others) who have been a source of strength and tissues during this chaotic time. Going to a therapist also helped get my anxiety and panic attacks under control. It's times like these that your mental facilities are pushed to the brink, almost falling over the edge. Knowing how to cope is the most important thing.

My next post will be my speech for next week's Toastmasters meeting. It's slightly controversial, but I want to talk about what interests me, not what seems safe and boring to talk about.

I'll post more in the coming days. Stay tuned...

Boo ya'll

2011-08-10T20:53:00.000-05:00

Greetings ya'll...

Well, July came and went with a bang. After my last post, I started working on improving me. That includes talking to someone about some of my low self esteem / endless pursuit of perfection and frustrations about not being able to control the unknowns in my future. Getting these things off your chest and learning how to cope with the feelings helps a lot. The sad thing is that I know I'm not the only one at my agency feeling them. Morale is getting low and resentment growing, especially with the slow pace everything is taking place.

Honestly, it feels like a Brazilian wax being done one hair at a time. The hurt builds and it would be so much better if it happened all at once. I understand why this is being done at the pace it is so they can minimize the adverse impacts. Personally, I would like to have the damn band-aid ripped off at once, but that's just my opinion.

Yoga, exercise, Toastmasters, being social, writing down notes, and just talking have helped a lot over the last month. I'll never escape making my professional life personal and vice versa (I don't have that kind of personality), but I'm learning (this being the operative word) to fucking leave someone of it behind. I feel a lot better than I have in a while I like it.

Wrapping this up for now. In the meantime, here's a new picture of me and Spencer. My old computer crapped out on me and my new laptop has a webcam - yay! This will be fun, so maybe I'll do a video blog posting one of these days. :D

Admission is the first step

2011-07-03T00:43:00.004-05:00

It's no lie that I've been under quite a bit of stress for the last few months. Some has been my own doing, but the rest has been because of this pesky little thing called life. These relationships, work (duh!), and needing my dad's advice more than ever. Instead of handling it in a responsible manner (exercise, writing, dancing erratically in my house to bongos) I let it fester until hitting a breaking point.

Some people can be friends with their ex. Though I thought I could too, I realized that it's not possible for me. For closure to our history, I told him to get the rest of his possessions out of my house (games and a broke down car) and removed him from my social media contacts. I wish him well with his new love and life, but outtasight and outtamind is best.

A little bit of therapy is in order too. I'm greatful for the State of Missouri's Employee Assistance program. Right now, everyone at my office is stressed and scared, but may be reacting poorly to those feelings. Talking to an unbiased person about my feelings of being overwhelmed, relearning coping mechanisms, and maybe on how to not to be such an anal person can only help.

Yoga will also be employed quite heavily as well my friends on this healing path. Let's get this bitch started.

QR Code

2011-07-02T19:59:00.000-05:00

This blog is now smartphone accessible. Oh damn, but this could be fun.

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

2011-06-22T21:37:00.001-05:00

This is a draft of my Toastmasters speech for Monday night. Let's hope I can pull it off!
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A Little Bit of This, a Little Bit of That

Good evening Master/Madam Toastmasters, fellow Toastmasters and guests. My name is Jenni Jones and as already mentioned, the title of my Ice Breaker speech is “A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That.” Though this title may come across as a grammatical error, I think you’ll discover that it is more an answer to how I’ve approached my life.

Background

I come from a relationship of polar opposites. My dad was the oldest of four kids. A farm boy, he was raised Southern Baptist in a small town north of Springfield called Walnut Grove. His high school graduating class was small, just 18 students, less than what is in this room right now.

My mom was a street-smart, smart-mouth, dropout who had moved to southwest Missouri from the Chicago suburbs with an older brother and a mom who divorced in the mid-60s. My grandmother was 50 with 2 young kids when she divorced, something quite taboo for the time.

They met in the mid-70s through the local business school, married in the late 70s, moved to Springfield. They were young when they had me, just being 22 and 23 when I was born in 1979. My sister Jackilyn came three years later in 1982. My dad worked full time and went to night school full time, eventually earning his accounting degree, numerous certifications in his field, and was a Controller of the manufacturing company he worked for. The only time my dad wasn’t on the go was when he was either sleeping or on vacation. My mom was a payroll coordinator for Bass Pro in Springfield and started working there in 1986. From then until 2009, she saw the company grow into the behemoth it is today.

My parents instilled a strong ethic of hard work, self-sufficiency, organization and planning for the unknown. I also managed to also get their stubbornness too. With two parents in the financial field, I pretty much had to understand the concepts of how to balance a checkbook by the time I was 10. There was also the thought, or at least hope, that I would pursue a similar field when I went to college.

Professional

In high school, I loved math, science, and my government classes, especially chemistry and earth science. Notice there no mention of business classes. This passion set me up to major in geology at Missouri State with the aspiration of being a hydrologist. However, a non-paid internship with a non-profit water resources and protection agency opened my eyes to the world of planning. I quickly discovered that though I loved the some elements of the geosciences, I didn’t want to be a ‘hard rock’ girl, playing around and digging for fossils or theorizing how newly discovered rock formations came to be. No, I wanted to be the one testing water, analyzing the land for potential sources of pollution, presenting the results and taking an active role in plan implementation. As it happened, there was a community and regional planning program at Missouri State. However, due to the fact that I was 2 years into my degree, it wasn’t feasible to change my major on a whim. So, I dropped to a less intensive geology degree and picked up an economics minor. My thought process was that since no one in my family had gone to graduate school, I thought I should be the first to temp it. Over the next two years, I had 3 more internships (2 in Jefferson City) and graduated from Missouri State. It was my internship with MoDOT in Transportation Planning that really set the stage for me during my time at the University of Iowa in the Urban and Regional Planning program. Though I was still a staunch advocate for environmental issues, my new fascination was with the transportation field.

The first day of graduate school, I learned a quote by architect and city planner Daniel Burnham. It was, “Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood...Make big plans, aim high in hope and work.” Burnham was no wallflower when it came to hard work; he helped with the design of Chicago during the 1894 World’s Fair and Union Station in Washington D.C. This quote reeks of ambition, but what most people don’t know about Burnham is that he always had a backup plan in place something went wrong or didn’t appear to work out – much like my undergraduate career and change of heart about geology.

This theme of planning and preparation served me well at Iowa. I started sending out job applications and resumes seven months before graduation and had my job lined up at MoDOT in Jefferson City in the February before graduation. I started at MoDOT as a transportation planner in June of 2003 and have been there for over 8 years. Over time, I have done traffic projections, analyzed crash data, helped MoDOT’s 10 districts program projects, helped federally designated planning agencies comply with transportation law, work on the update of the state’s long-range transportation plan, and serve as a headquarters liaison to rural county agencies. To me, transportation planning is the perfect balance of technical and social science. I get to crunch numbers and do research, but also boil down complicated rules in a manner that people can understand. I’ve visited every corner of this state and drive a lot. It would drive most crazy, but it helps me understand the nuances of how different parts of Missouri view transportation and the importance it has on their lives.

As part of a teambuilding exercise, I took a Myers Briggs Personality test. It says that I’m an ESTJ, which means extroverted, sensitive, thinking, and judgmental. On all accounts, these characteristics are a good fit for my job. But I’m much more than just a planner; I (hehe) have a personality.

Personality and Life As We Know It

So, I have talked about my family, education and job, but what can I say about myself outside of those areas? First, I’m single with no kids and have lived in Jeff City 8 years. I bought a house four years ago and have slowly worked on making it my own. That includes getting a dog, stripping wallpaper, cutting down trees, and pulling out all of the landscaping. It’s been a challenge, but that goes with my personality. I’m taking a break from doing any more improvements right now because a girl needs to enjoy this gorgeous weather.

I’m a sports fanatic and follow the Iowa Hawkeyes, St. Louis Cardinals and Kansas City Chiefs. Being active is a love of mine – yoga, biking, swimming, float trips, and working out. This activities along with being a foodie, an intense interest in art house movies, volunteering with the fundraising group for a new Jeff City animal shelter, and my friends (especially my best friend Rhonda in Louisiana), help keep me sane.

Conclusion

All in all, I’ve talked about my family, education, job, and life outside of work. I thank you for your time and look forward to my evaluation.

Perspective

2011-06-14T12:20:00.002-05:00

Over the weekend, a coworker lost her mother. Not more than four months earlier, she lost her dad. In the chaos that is my department, it's times like these that you know what is, and isn't, important.

Give me a capital J!

2011-06-12T22:54:00.001-05:00

My favorite Cajun came back to Missouri last month. Instead of snow, this time she encountered a tornado warning, Branson, and the rest of Jefferson City and Columbia. Here are some photos taken from her time here.

A panoramic view of the capital grounds. Yay for Microsoft Photosynth!

The seal for the State of Missouri.

Panorama of the first floor.

On the second floor, there are huge murals displaying some of Missouri's natural features.

Ha Ha Tonka State Park
Camdenton, Missouri

The Eads Bridge in St. Louis. When you walk right to left, it looks like the bridge changes direction.

Panorama of the third floor by the Senate Chambers.

Painting on the dome of the capital.

The chandelier hanging from the dome. Yes, it's been dropped.

Cajun on the bike/ped bridge across the Missouri River. This connects Jeff City to the Missouri Katy Trail, a bike trail stretching from Kansas City to St. Louis. Also during our walk, what I've always called chain-link fencing, they call hurricane fencing in Louisiana.

View of the capital from the bike/ped bridge.

A wrapped around panorama of the bike/ped bridge.

It was a wonderful time with her leaving way too soon. And now it's my turn to get down to Lafayette. Hopefully I'll have a better feel for my job come August/September.

Resume the resume

2011-06-07T22:34:00.041-05:00

On Wednesday, my department's governing body decided the fate of everyone's working lives over the next 21 months. Part of this is to honor the commitments in our capital improvements program and ensure that we can provide the state match to the federal funds the department receives. Unfortunately, this will involve eliminating 1,200 positions (400 of which have already taken place since February 2010). It's too late to point fingers at why this is all happening because it doesn't matter anymore; the reality is here.

Not knowing what the future holds, I'm starting the process of updating my resume, something I haven't done in close to six years. It's hard to summarize everything that I've learned and done over my eight years working as a professional planner. Providing excellent customer service; interpreting and enforcing federal regulations; conducting tons of research on best transportation planning practices; coordinating with local, state, and federal planning partners; and finally extensive data analysis. But not to blow smoke up my ass, I also know that there are some areas that I struggle with, namely public speaking and working too hard (yes, that can be a flaw). I also haven't had a lot of project management or supervision experience. But the only thing I can do is prepare the draft, send it out for edits, and go from there.

To escape from the stress, I like to think about my childhood when I didn't have to worry about any of these headaches. Both of my parents had good jobs and because the economy was so good, they didn't face the threat of unemployment. Those were the days and I look on them fondly.

"But I don't wanna grow up. I want to live off mommy and daddy forever!"

These are the days that I seriously question why I decided to pursue planning as a profession. I'm a math and science geek and excelled at both in college, so why didn't I pursue something that was going to give me a solid financial footing in life? I'm clueless at this point, but my dad's voice of "accountants are God's people" rings in my ears. I'm grateful for the education I have, but being book-smart versus street-smart are two vastly different things. What may have been fun to study won't necessarily pay the bills. To only know then what I know now...

Joplin

2011-05-23T22:19:00.001-05:00

Joplin, MIssouri, a town that I worked with for over 2 years coordinating transportation planning activities, was hit by a tornado last night. As of 3:00 pm today, 116 people were confirmed dead with countless others injured. The storm was 3/4 of a mile wide and went six miles along the main stretch of town (Rangeline Road).

Destroyed helicopter from St. John's Medical Center

(Source: AP)

Maiden Lane in Joplin, MO. Houses were along both sides of the street.

(Source: AP)

Map of tornado destruction in Joplin, MO.

The MoDOT District 7 office is near the intersection of I-44 and 32nd Street.

(Source: Google Earth)

Luckily, none of my coworkers at the district office were harmed from the storm; one of them suffered house damage, but that can be fixed. Unfortunately, one of the people at the city was injured and had his home destroyed, but he's not dead.

Mother Nature has been on rampage this spring. First it was a late March snow, then flooding along the Mississippi stretching from Missouri to Louisiana, and then the tornados in Tuscaloosa, AL and now in Joplin. The death toll from the Joplin tornado is tied with the record with the number of deaths from such a storm. Since it's only been 28 hours, it's almost guaranteed that this number will climb.

It's times like this that you really get a sense of what is and isn't important in life. Material things can be replaced, but people and pets can't. Joplin is a mere 70 miles from my hometown and it hurts to know that there are those in need that I can't help. Cherish what you have; no one knows when it will be taken away.

Sweet revenge

2011-05-01T20:47:00.000-05:00

"Revenge is a dish best served cold."
-- Mario Puzzo The Godfather

Being a geology major at Missouri State, most people thought the students would work in the petroleum industry - it's a natural fit. However, most of my classmates wanted to focus on environmental studies, myself included. As time passed and I discovered that I wanted to be a planner and not a geologist, I received a few snickers. Granted, I was pretty arrogant about the change and deserved the shit served my way, but there's one person who managed to ding me more than most.

"Jack" was the oldest person in my geology rotation, being 10 years older than me and my classmates. He served in the military, had traveled the world, was on the GI bill, and boasted that he was going into the oil field ("hard rock" as he called it) to make his riches. Age doesn't make you wiser than your classmates and Jack was no exception. Making fun of people, being pissed at the class brainiacs, and bad mouthing those who didn't want the same things as you in this world is crap that should have been left behind in high school, but no one clued Jack into this concept.

Looking around on the alumni website, I came across Jack's new title and email address. Imagine my surprise when it said he worked for state government as an environmental specialist. Haha. Knowing my resources, I looked him up. Despite all of his experience in the "real world" and being 10 years older than me, I'm making at least $16,000 more than this guy a year.

This economy sucks, no doubt about it. Jobs are tough to find and vital to have; those who have one are damn lucky. I don't know Jack's life since graduation, but I can't help but feel a little smug. This person was a raving ass and now he's in a field that I'm sure he's not thrilled about, but it helps pay the bills. For me, this is the best revenge because I refused to feel bad about my decision and pursued my profession with a fervor that carries over into today.

I'm still standing

2011-05-01T11:16:00.002-05:00

It's been almost 3 months since my last post. I wish I could say that time has been tight, which it has, but my motivation is another large factor. Exercise, amazingly intense conversations, work, home, and trying to live a somewhat normal life have been more important to me. I have lost the weight - I'm down to a size 10 and 160 pounds - which is great and I don't want to lose the momentum, but writing about it doesn't seem to be as exciting as it was.

Sooooo....., I think I'll be reinventing the format of this blog. To what, I have no clue. Unlike other sites that I love to read, I'm really not the kind of person who wants to debate the points of some controversial topic. Life is too short and let's admit it, no one is going to change their mind when they've held the line on their position for such a long time.

Until I figure this blog thing out again, here's a recap of the last few months and some lessons learned along the way.

1. Never go to New Orleans during Mardi Gras. Made it down to Louisiana in March to see friends and one of the first things we did was go to NOLA. I'm sure it's a lovely town, but for me, it was too much during Mardi Gras. Everything is fun until someone gets hurt and that's precisely what happened. When streets are blocked off, everyone but you and your friends are drunk off their ass, undetermined fluids are flowing willy nilly, and all you want to do is get out of there, it's a damn nightmare. I'll go back during another time of the year when it's not as chaotic.

2. Gulf seafood is okay. Pull your heads out of those huge asses. I had a lot of gulf seafood and it was the fucking bomb. The magnitude of Deepwater Horizon on the Gulf area is a nightmare, but even more from a public relations standpoint. I had a ton of seafood during my time in Louisiana. It was delicious, plentiful and cheap. Nom, nom, nom...gimme more!

3. Never go against your against your gut instinct. When you don't, you're almost guaranteed to get screwed over.

4. Elton John still rocks the casbah. Saw him in Springfield last month. I don't care how old he is, the man is amazing.

5. Yoga poses will come to you, just be patient. Though I have to be super warmed up, I can finally get into Cow Face pose. Yay!

6. Real friends are forever; acquaintances are fleeting. I think this is pretty straightforward. Unfortunately it's taken me 32 years to fully understand this.

7. Home improvements never end, they just get more expensive and annoying to do. The only salvation I have is that there's only 13.5 more years until the sonsabitch is mine; then I can really splurge.

Well kids, that's it for now. Don't hold your breath for the next post, because I don't know when that will be - Blogger is being a bitch and annoying as hell to edit.

Steady as she goes

2011-02-19T23:50:00.000-06:00

So, here's a quick update of where I'm at in the great weight loss / improve my overall health quest.

I'm down to 160 pounds (yay!), but with a body fat percentage of 31% (boo!)

Did a metabolic test in mid-January to see how many calories I burn in a day while doing absolutely nothing. Surprisingly, my metabolism is above average and I burn 1900 calories sitting on my butt.

Got the results of my cholesterol test on 2/4/2011. My total cholesterol isn't too bad (203), but my bad cholesterol (HDL) is high (145). Damn genetics.

For the most part, I'm happy with my results. To combat the high body fat percentage and HDL numbers, I've reworked my exercise routine to incorporate more interval training on the elliptical and weight training. It's only been a few days, but I already love the workout.

I know I'm making great strides, so eventually I'll get to where I want to be. Time, patience, and dedication are on my side.

Seasonality

2011-01-30T11:49:00.000-06:00

Just when I thought the weather was going to make a change for the better, more snow and ice are predicted for today and tomorrow. Perhaps it's my impatient nature, but I so want it to be sunny, warm and breezy today. As much as I love going to the gym, a good long bike ride on the Katy Trail would do wonders for my psyche today. I wouldn't go too far, probably from Jefferson City to Hartsburg or Easley and then back, but enough to feel it the next day to remind me of how far I still have to go towards getting in really good shape. Knowing me, I'll most likely buy a hitch for my bike so I can bring my dog Spencer along for the ride.

Tebbetts to Rocheport map
www.bikekatytrail.com

I can totally understand why people get seasonal depression. As soneone who has dealt with the regular condition for years, even this crap can get me down. Throw into the mix the other life's little curve balls with the weather and it's easy to see why there's a spike in visits to the therapist during this time of year.

Hells bells, maybe all I need is a good soundtrack to listen to that would help get me out of this funk. I'm a terrible dancer, but who cares if I'm alone in my house? FYI - I'm on a big Florence and the Machine kick. This is a weird video, but I love everything about the song.

That's it for now boys and girls. I'm going to change and go beat on an elliptical at my gym for a few hours. Perhaps that will help me with this funk and foul mood.

It's all fun and games until...

2011-01-20T23:07:00.000-06:00

It's been over two weeks since my last post. It seems like such a long time ago, but the time went by so fast.

Though there was a slight hiccup in getting here, my friend Rhonda came to Jefferson City from Lafayette, Louisiana. We became friends through a mutual friend of ours and hit it off. I can say that five days isn't nearly enough to spend with this amazing person who has counseled me through some of the uglier parts of 2010 and 2011.

Playing in the snow at the Capitol Grounds

Our sushi spread at Haruno's in Springfield

Hamming it up for the camera. The Arab and the Ginger.

Thou shalt not screw the 10 Commandments... unless you're an Atheist.

Watching the ice flows in the Missouri River

I was terribly sad to see her go (aka, I was a hot teary mess), but I'm going to Louisiana in a few weeks. I get to hang out with her, Ian, and another friend Venessa for Mardi Gras. I can't wait!

As for the workout regime, I've been put out of commission, at least for this week. On Monday I took at metabolic test to see how many calories I burn in a day without doing any exercise. As it turns out, my metabolism is pretty high, but so is my body fat percentage. I've been sick this week, but once I'm healthy, I'm switching up the exercise routine to include more strength training and not as much cardio. I'm down to 164 pounds right now and that's the lowest I've been in years. I'm eager to mix everything up and start on a new program to get the b.f. percentage down. Wish me luck!

Friends are friends forever

2011-01-06T20:23:00.000-06:00

Workout update: I finally made it to the gym on Sunday. How I missed it so! Went to Pilates and B.A.T. (buns, abs, and thighs) classes on Monday and Wednesday and Miss Megan's Advanced Yoga on Tuesday night. I'm taking tonight off to relax.

I haven't talked about my job on this blog in a while. It's not that I try to shy away, or am embarrassed, but because I've tried to keep the blog focused on me. However, the Missouri legislature is back in session and though my department is protected from its wrath, I still feel for my fellow state employee who's job may be on the chopping block. My sister was in that position 2 years ago and the initial shocked feeling lingers with me.

But if anything gets me smiley right now, it's that my friend Rhonda will be in mid-Missouri in 5 days time. She's a Cajab (Cajun Arab) and will be experiencing a Midwestern winter for the first time - haha! I shall be providing the manufactured warmth and lots of food; Kansas City BBQ, Columbia's Shakespeare's Pizza, Rocket Fuel from Jeff City's Coffee Zone, pasta from St. Louis' Blueberry Hill, and Springfield-style cashew chicken are in her future.

I'm in a White Stripes mood tonight. This song goes to everyone who helped me get through 2010 (the good, bad, and fugly) in one piece. Enjoy...

Constant craving

2011-01-01T10:14:00.000-06:00

Ug, I haven't had a chance to get to the gym or a yoga class since last Monday and I feel disgusting. Yoga was canceled Tuesday and the gym was closed yesterday and today. A hard cardio and weight training routine lets me take my frustrations out on machines instead of people. The yoga helps me relax and get all flexy which I absolutely love.

If there was ever a time I needed both of these activities, it's now and my craving is insane! Both should be back in operation tomorrow, so I'll probably go overboard on both for the next few days. Being sore is fine - nothing that a few ibuprofen can't cure.

Tabula rasa

2010-12-27T08:44:00.002-06:00

Quick update. Holidays came and went. I made it through without my dad as well as expected. It was eased with great companionship Christmas night. Got knocked on my ass yesterday, but it's a good thing because it will be the seal to an overly emotional and stress laden 2010.

I'm starting 2011 with a blank slate and I hope it's one of my best years in a long fucking time. I hope this also happens to one of my best friends, Ian. According to our parents generation, the world owes us nothing. Bullshit. We've had to work harder for less, instead of the other way around. It's impossible to not be a cynic in this age for Gen X/Y. Show me the silver lining and maybe we can talk.

I'm gettin' there

2010-12-19T21:13:00.003-06:00

Documentation of the work accomplished over the last few weeks.

12/08/10

12/13/10

12/18/10

12/19/10

I would photograph my pilates and yoga classes, but I think my teachers would frown on the practice. However, here are a few pictures of poses we do in every class.

Plank

Low lunge

Chaturanga

Downward facing dog

Happy baby

I'll cry the day I'm able to get into these poses without pain.

Pigeon pose

Cow face pose

All of the hard work has, FINALLY, led to this - a size 12!!!

Yay! A happy dance for me. I'll take it for now, but I'm not settling until I reach a size 10. And then I'll be happy when I get an 8.

Still here

2010-12-12T09:14:00.001-06:00

Still here, just swamped at work - I had to travel a bit around the state. I've kept up the exercise routine (to the best of my abilities) and start a trial run of Weight Watchers on Wednesday. I'm skeptical, but we'll see

I haven't been to a yoga class in over a week and I'm having withdrawl symptoms. I saw a pair of yoga gloves and socks at Target that I should get just so I can practice at home on the carpet (my mat slides all over the place). I want to get into the more difficult poses, but until I invest time outside of class practicing, they won't happen. I'm using the mighty iPhone, to write this blog. Otherwise, I would post a few pictures of what I'm talking about.

That's it for now folks. Stay warm and spike your apple cider.

The white squirrels of Marionville, MO

2010-11-30T22:14:00.000-06:00

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for squirrels. My sister's toy fox terrier, Chloe, loves to chase them and they just seem to be humble, fun loving creatures. While at work today, I was trying to chase the address down of someone and came across the white squirrels of Marionville, Missouri. Seriously, how could you not melt for these little guys? Beware, try taking one of them and it's a $500 fine. A bit too steep for my blood, so I'll appreciate from afar.

Photos courtesy of the Rural Missourian

Keeping me honest

2010-11-28T21:41:00.000-06:00

Well hells bells, Thanksgiving came and went and now Christmas is less than a month a way. In the nature of keeping it real, I'm posting pictures (again) of my exercise exploits. I can't tell anything yet, but I did miss being physical last Thursday through Saturday. This is a habit that I need to be addicted to, along with my yoga.

Rockin' the pigtails. It's the only way my shortish-medium hair can stay out of my face without a hat or a bandana.

Monday's elliptical run. I also did 30 minutes on the treadmill, but the computer on it restarted before I could take a picture.

Picture from the bike last Wednesday - 20 minutes logged. I would have got a picture of my time on the floating elliptical, but with a gym with no one in it, someone was waiting for me to get off that particular machine (I knocked out 30 minutes on it though). Go figure.

Today's workout on the floating elliptical. I held on for 30 minutes on this bad boy. By my estimates, that's about 11.5 minutes a mile. I can't even walk that fast, so this is my modified version of running. Lets see if I can get it down to 11 minutes and then 10 minutes a mile. I also started some basic weight training, so that should help as well.

So far, so good. I may not have lost any weight, but I feel better about myself. However, I'm eager to see if a Weight Watchers group will be forming in my office for the holidays. If not, I'll just be hyperaware of what's going into my mouth and start WW in January.

Tilting at 2011

2010-11-28T11:15:00.000-06:00

Ah the future, what will it hold? This was a Facebook conversation that I've had with some friends and I thought it would make a good blog. The ever mysterious crystal ball, or in my case Magic 8 ball, is drawing blanks on what's going to happen in 2011. Not that it's a good or bad thing, but because I control my fate for the future. Here is what I do know and I apologize for the cliches:

2010 continues a roller coaster of highs and lows.
Yoga rocks my world and I can't go a week without it. It's like my extra dose of Lexapro that I take once or twice a week to help balance me.
Because of a chance of I took in 2009, I transitioned from being a Facebook acquaintance with 1 person, to good friends with 3 people this year. And for that, I'm grateful.
Always trust your gut. Even if there are butterflies, it's usually right.
Don't dwell on what can't be controlled, just roll with the punches. Body armor helps.
Change is good. Though awkward like a nerdy teenage girl, it helps us grow and be open to new possibilities that wouldn't have existed otherwise.
Sadness comes and goes, but the good memories last forever.

With everything said, here's what I plan / want to happen in 2011.

Traveling to Louisiana to visit friends. I want to see the place that shaped these guys. I've also never been to the Gulf.
Get a passport. I'm getting my picture taken this week, but filing the paperwork on Saturday. It will be 2011 by the time the darn thing arrives. I've always wanted one, so there's nothing like the present to do it.
Have my LA friends visit. Granted Missouri is a bible-thumpin' red state, but I still think about the Kansas City BBQ, Harry Truman, Budweiser, St. Louis Cardinals baseball, Brad Pitt, and Jon Hamm as a counter balance.
Taking more chances, both professionally and personally. Venturing out of my comfort zone is one of my change mantras.
I've already started this, but losing the damn weight. I can lose control on other things, but stuffing my face and sitting on my ass isn't one of them.

I have my career, my friends and family, and my health. So regardless of what happens in 2011, I know that I'll be fine. I'm just eager to experience it!

I can't post the video here, but I love this song and think that parts of it are applicable to this blog.
T.I. with Rihanna - Live Your Life

Chunkin'

2010-11-20T22:03:00.009-06:00

It's been 10 years since my undergraduate days. It's hard to believe what has happened in that time, but despite some struggles, I'm a better person now than I was then... except for the weight gain. I was 21 when I left my first college and weighed 105 pounds soaking wet. Even then, I thought I was heavy though I had to buy my clothes in the girls section of stores.

A graduate degree, a professional certification, a house, a dog, 10 years, and 65 pounds later, reality bit me in the ass. I've tried dieting in the past, but that was fleeting and the weight always came back (and usually more of it too). Being the stubborn Missouri jackass I am, my learning only comes from humiliation. So I'm using this blog to chronicle my efforts to get smaller and healthier. I posted a picture from last Sunday's elliptical events. The following are efforts from last week.

Monday

Thursday

On Mondays, I also take a pilates class and on Tuesdays, I'm in Advanced Yoga. I'm definitely getting my exercise, improving my flexibility and strength, and feel better about myself. Ultimately, this is the only thing that matters.

Namaste.

I'm still here

2010-11-19T09:29:00.000-06:00

Still here, just swamped with work, exercise, and life in general. The evil green eyed monster that I become during the holidays has emerged, making everything so much fun.  Fortunately, I've found another kindred spirit who feels the same way and I forsee lots of texts over the next few weeks until New Years is here.

Tunes...

2010-11-14T22:01:00.002-06:00

Burn, baby, burn!

2010-11-14T18:37:00.003-06:00

Boo ya!

As done in the past, I'm also using this blog to document my efforts towards losing weight. Besides the cardio, I'm also taking yoga and pilates classes. Next week, I'll add some more weight training and leg work (squats, lunges) to the mix.

Friday fun

2010-11-12T16:58:00.002-06:00

Friends, food, and focusing on what's important has made my Friday. With that, I give you The Cure and one of my favorite songs.

A change would do you good

2010-11-11T01:14:00.005-06:00

“The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.”
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

As you may have noticed, I changed the title of this blog from Jen in JC, A Simple Girl (something, something, something) to Life is a Highway. I got the idea for this new name from two sources. One is the great song by Tom Cochrane; the other is because of my love for the place I work. I also thought it was high time to change something on this blog if I wanted to keep it interesting and something to dedicate time towards.

Getting philosophical, people are the vessel traveling through life. Some are Cadillac Escalades, others Toyota RAV4s, pickup trucks, bicyclists, and other pedestrians. We are always going somewhere, whether it be physically traveling, deconstructing relationships, or simply freeing our minds, there is a destination, and end point, wanting to be reached. Like a highway, there are the occasional potholes (depression, hiccups), construction zones (rebuilding ourselves, friendships, or relationships), assholes tailgating ('nuff said), roadkill, acceleration zones (life at full speed), and the inevitable congestion. We've all experienced these circumstances in our lives, so everything relates.

I haven't set a list of intentions for this blog. Part of me wants it to be a sounding board for everything that goes through my head, but that's what Facebook and Twitter are for. The other wants it to be an electronic diary, but there are parts that no one needs to know. So who knows? This isn't set in stone and it would go against my grain to not change my mind a hundred times along the way. It's all good and I'm here to enjoy the ride.

Death and it's little friends

2010-08-02T21:12:00.003-05:00

August 2, 2010 - Today would have been my dad's 53rd birthday. It's been over 3 months since he died and it still gets to me. Sometimes I get angry, other times extremely depressed, and then there are times of complete numbness.

Death is part of the circle of life, I get that. But nothing can prepare you for sleepless nights, nausea, overwhelming worry that ensues once a person dies. No one really tells you about the 'oh shit' feeling after realizing that your world stopped for 5 days but now you have to catch-up with everyone else. It's overwhelming, especially when you realize that someone has to take the family leader role.

My dad was a tough son-of-a-bitch who worked his ass off. He called you on your bullshit, but also praised you when you did something right. He also loved my mom, me, and my sister with a fierceness time can't challenge. Those are attributes that come naturally for leaders, not so much of the followers.

Writing has always been my weakest link to the outside world, so I'm sure this is nothing but a pure ramble. But let me say this - my dad's death continues to shake my core and it scares the hell out of me. I want to be the person he envisioned me being, but I doubt I'll be able to reach that goal. The only thing I can do is try to do good and hope my gut leads me down the right path.

I'm baaaaccccckkkk!

2010-07-30T23:05:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I was a complete fraud when I started my weight loss blog last year. As soon as the 20 pounds came off, I stopped writing and started playing. Stupid mistake.

Since March, a lot of fit has hit the shan. Let me explain.

1) A couple of really horrible dating experiences

2) Turning 30

3) My uncle committed suicide in September 2009

4) My 20 pounds came back with a vengeance

5) Nothing like fighting with the family over the holidays

6) My dad died on April 27, 2010 from a massive heart attack

Yeah, life sucks and it's supposed to be hard - I get that. Most of this stuff has been bottled up inside of me and I need a venue to release it. And thus, the reason I'm starting this up again. I'm already on happy pills, but sometimes they don't cut it and I get bitchy/whiney and a general pain in the ass to be around.

So get ready, Jenni's back!

March 1 - Weight loss progress

2009-03-01T21:30:00.003-06:00

It's been 2 months since I've started this blog about my goal of losing weight for 2009. So far I have lost, begin the drum roll.......................20 pounds and 4 percent body fat. Yep, I've gone from 170 pounds to 150 pounds and 33 percent body fat to 29 percent.

I'm really proud of myself for starting a routine and sticking to it. However, I must note that 10 of those lost pounds were during my bout with mono. The fact that I was able to go back to the gym after a 3 week absence and still perform at the same level is a miracle. And though it sucked, the way I got mono was kinda fun. :D

And people are noticing. I work / talk to 2 trainers at the gym and they noticed the day I got back that the weight was gone. And today, a complete stranger who I've noticed but haven't talked to said "You're looking good. I remember when you first started and the weight has come off." OMG, that totally made my day. I'm pretty much a no one when I work out. I've got the hair pulled back in a messy pony tail, a pair of baggy shorts and tank top on, and my pink MP3 player going. It felt good to have an 'attagirl' in the middle of this lackluster weekend. :)

Be prepared, one of my blogs / rants is going to be about people who wear jeans / jean shorts to work out in. Seriously, WTF?

I'm back to work - yeehaw!

2009-02-17T21:26:00.003-06:00

I finally went back to work today. For some it would be annoying, but for me, at least I was doing something instead of nothing. Some folks seemed to get creeped out when I said I had mono, but once I told them how it's transmitted, they had nothing to worry about. Violating that work policy is something that I'll never have to worry about.

My taxes are done (hooray refund - new floors for the hallway and living room), my body is kickin' the germs, and I was able to get an awesome little dress from Kohl's for $5.00 today (thanks Jackie). Yeah, Jenni's a happy girl. :)

Broke Trek Mountain

2009-02-17T20:53:00.002-06:00

This is hilarious...

Spencer

2009-02-15T13:40:00.008-06:00

I've got to hand it to my dog Spencer. For the last two weeks, he's been a little trooper dealing with me being el sicko. For the first couple of days he was all jumpy "Oh yea! Mommy's home and we can play, and play, and then play some more!" Once he figured out that all I wanted to do was bury myself in the covers and sleep, he hasn't left my side. On occasion, he's pulled himself out from under the covers, put his head on my shoulder, and given me his one-eyed look of "What can I do to make you feel better?" I freakin' melt everytime!

I swear that having this little guy around makes me want to feel and get better. If anything, so I can get my happy butt outside for longer durations than having Spencer do his business in the backyard and then going back inside the house. I miss working out and taking him on longer walks. It will take more time and rest, but I'm starting to get impatient. My brain needs a challenge and it's floundering right now.

A chant for my health

2009-02-11T12:46:00.003-06:00

Four hours from now, me and Spencer T. Dawg will be on our own for the next five days. Initially, I planned to go to Springfield to see friends and family but the mono is taking everything out of me. I'm sure that I could just crash at my folks house, do my taxes, sleep, and eat, but that's not much fun and I think the cigarettes (my folks smoke) would add nausea to my problems. I'm having a hard enough time with my appetite, so as much as I love my parents, I'll pass on this round.

All of this really sucks though. I've planned to go to Springfield for the past couple of weekends, but plans have been canceled, either because of sickness or scheduling / timing conflicts with the friends and family I want to see most. As a planner, all of this is messing with me BECAUSE I PLAN to do things. When plans fall apart, it can be disappointing. My point with all of this is that I miss all of them terribly and though we talk on the phone and text, it's not the same. Pretty simple really.

Let's hope that waves of good health (and a healthy house - that's another story) karma come my way.

Temporarily out of comission

2009-02-09T19:08:00.002-06:00

Well, looks like I'm going to be out of commission for a while. I was sick with the flu last week and today I found out that I've got mono.

Fan freakin tastic.

To be continued...

I'm a slacker - go bite me!

2009-02-03T20:09:00.003-06:00

I know I've been a bit of a slacker and not keeping this site updated. However, this doesn't mean that I haven't been making progress. I've been going to the gym at least 4 times a week. Sometimes I just workout on the elliptical; other times it's that plus pilates, and then weights; and finally it can be just the elliptical and weights. Regardless, the weight has started to come off.

With the weight loss means buying new clothes. However, I'm a bit of a cheapskate and don't want to buy winter-like clothes when there's more weight to be lost. There's nothing wrong with the baggy look until April / May...:)

Slacker is as slacker does

2009-01-06T21:46:00.005-06:00

So I've been a bit of a slacker lately. I start this blog to document the valiant efforts I'm undertaking to lose the weight and improve the self-esteem and what do I do? I freakin' slack off for 6 days and don't blog. Hey, I never said I was perfect, just trying my darndest to keep everything true to my word.

So, what has dear ole' Jenni been doing these last couple of days. Well first, I went to Springfield New Year's Eve and had a wonderful time bringing in the new year. For $7 I went (tried) rock climbing, went to the Skinny Improv, and saw two musical productions. Being downtown Springfield and chilly, I was able to get my exercise by speed walking from one event to the next.

On New Year's day I'll admit to falling off the wagon and pigging out on junk food. In my defense, I was at a football party for the Iowa / South Carolina Outback Bowl. One thing you will quickly realize is that I'm a devout Iowa Hawkeye fan, especially for football, and can be a bit spirited if someone's dissin' my team. As my mighty Hawks beat the 'Cocks, I indulged in the 7 layer dip, Blue Moon beer, and various other goodies. I'm proud to say that it was totally worth it !!!

Though I was able to spend some time with a few close friends, the days after New Year's went by in a blur. And fortunately, I've been able to somewhat keep track of what I've eaten and how much I've exercised. So far, I've been able to be active for at least 20 - 25 minutes. Some of this time has been in the gym, but the other has been doing yard work around my house.

In the end I keep telling myself that it will pay off. Hopefully with the positive attitude, I'll reach my goal of 135 - 140 pounds sooner than later.

2009 New Year's Resolutions

2008-12-30T20:27:00.003-06:00

2009 New Year's Resolutions

Get a passport.
Begin a regular exercise and diet regimen. The increased energy, smaller waistline, and boost in self-confidence will be rewarding.
Enhance knowledge of technology and become a resource for folks to turn to.
Ignore the butterflies in my stomach and delve headfirst into all activities.
Save more, spend less.
Stop being so hard on myself and apologizing for issues beyond my control!
Live life to its fullest every day.

Day 1

2008-12-30T16:46:00.000-06:00

Today is Day 1 of my pursuit of a new physique. Since I'm on vacation this week, now is a good time to start a routine before going back to work Monday. Despite my almost 4 month absence from the Cap Region Healthplex, I'm still able to do the length and amount of exercise that I left in September. This is my workout for the day.

30 minutes on the elliptical machine
10 minutes on the treadmill (going 3.6 m.p.h.)
Various weight machines for my arms, back, and legs

Though it may not sound like much, this was more exercise than I've done in a while.I'm going to have to add some variety to the workouts or I WILL get burnt out and quit. Fortunately, the gym has some affordable classes that I'm taking advantage of next week. This includes pilates and aerobics. I'll also need to meet with a dietician so I can get my eating habits on track. I say this because after working out and fighting through Wal-Mart, I came home and had leftover Shakespeare's Pizza for lunch.

How does that Aretha Franklin song go? "Chain, chain, chain...chain of fools."

Tomorrow I'll post my measurements. Part of my blogging goal is to publish this information so folks can either encourage me (to lose the weight and keep it off) or ridicule me when I've screwed up. Honestly, it works out both ways.

In the beginning

2008-12-30T14:25:00.000-06:00

With the start of a new year, there is the start of a new Jenni. To say that 2008 kicked my ass would be an understatement. Relationship and friendship problems seemed to plague me for most of it . However, I learned that I'm much stronger and smarter than I ever gave myself credit for.

Life throws a lot of little curve balls. This blog will be a reflection of how 2009 is supposed to be for me. For starters, I'm using it as a tool to document my weight loss - the good, bad, and ugly - with statistics and pictures. This way people can call me out on my bs if I'm not working out enough or eating like a pig. It will also be used as a general forum to vent my frustrations with the world (house, work, people). I'm following the example of "Frighteningly Uncommon Sense" and how Faith communicates with her web audience.

I hope everyone is ready because 2009 is going to be a bumpy ride...